I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We got so high we made milksteak
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
