I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
