so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
