Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
