Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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