her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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