She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
