no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
