I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
