i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
