But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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