He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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