The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
