Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
