i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
