Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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