Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Drunk is not a location!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
