I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
