You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
look no pants
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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