the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she pinky promised me she was 18
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
