"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
