My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
