Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
