If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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