do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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