So drunk its hurt
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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