I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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