the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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