Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
