This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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