we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize