I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize