We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
