Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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