you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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