if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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