This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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