Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize