apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
