We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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