OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
