The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
