What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
...so i touched it.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
