i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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