He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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