so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
