Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
