The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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