Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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