Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize