you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
