Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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