i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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