Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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