sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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