she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
