my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
