This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Small penises have feelings too.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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