You really coming over, don't trick.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
