saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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