defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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